Before I rant about what a horrible blogger I am, I’d like to share a rather horrifying and awkward thing that I just witnessed.
It all started last night when I settled down in bed to a really craptastic live stream of the Mayweather vs. Marquez fight. I believe the feed was through an Indonesian or Philippino network or something…this commercial pops up.
It starts with two beautiful, proud Cocks in a ring, facing off (Roosters, you pervert). Then some tacky computer-generated vision tells you that B-12 with liver extract will somehow evaporate and fly off into a fairy-like spark, go right inside your fighting cock’s eye and make him a crazy killer chicken to dominate the fights and make you mucho rico.
View said masterpiece below. WARNING: Some things you can’t unsee, please use caution and no hallucinogens, for your own good.
It took me watching the commercial 8 times and an embarrassingly-involved Google search to find out that, in fact, this is an actual injectable vitamin you shoot into your cock before it fights. Ummm…if you’re not catching the hilarious innuendos out of all this, I’m afraid we have nothing more to talk about. And how is this legal when Michael Vick gets shit for almost the same thing? (Not America…gotcha.)
After this unfortunate experience, I drifted off to the sound of Mayweather laughing as he mashed Marquez’s face in. Who didn’t see that one coming?
Now about my unnecessarily lengthy disappearance? WARNING: SHAMEFUL SELF-PROMOTING PLUG: Let’s just say finding a job is rough in NYC, if anyone (or any friends, family or faithful Facebook friends) are looking for a freelance (or *fingers crossed* full-time copywriting positions open?). I promise if you give me work, I’ll stay far from the frequent farce of alliterations.
More to come, sooner, rather than later.
